Category: masculinity

On ‘anti-slut defence’ tactics, ‘slut-shaming’, and their critics

ASD, or anti-slut defence is a term used in the PUA or Red Pill space. It refers to behavioural and psychological tendencies of women to resist seduction by men they really want to have sex with, in order to maintain their non-slutty reputation and self-image.

An ASD is a method used by a girl to abstain herself from responsibility during a situation where there is a likelihood of sex/intimacy.

PUAMore

PUA discussion of ASD centres around methods to overcome it. They discuss methods of influencing the woman’s psychological state, heightening her sexual desire, and making her feel comfortable and safe from condemnatory judgement. The aim is to prevent ASD obstructions, or manage them when they arise.

Continue reading “On ‘anti-slut defence’ tactics, ‘slut-shaming’, and their critics”

4 reasons why masculinity and gender is interesting

Or, why I’m obsessed with sex.

1. I have a sex drive, which I experience with (what seems like) ordinary intensity. I like feminine women. Turns out, they like masculine men. More or less. So I have skin in the game, so to speak.

2. This is a lively political battleground! Feminism, men’s rights activism, patriarchy, gynocentrism. Civil rights, human rights, legal issues, personal freedom, left and right. My political tendencies are libertarian and slightly-right-centrist.

3. It’s a lively philosophical battleground. (All these points are interconnected too.) So, masculinity and femininity. What are we even talking about, metaphysically? Are they primaeval forces of nature, evolved biological attributes, or ideological social constructs? (The answer: all of the above.)

4. Men and women are different. Propaganda denying this obvious fact is spouted about frequently, and considered meritorious in some circles. The meta-level debate is super interesting to study. We’re talking, the corruption of science, the subversion of the academy, etc. Interesting, and dangerous!

I am a masculinist: I think masculinity is something real, and a good thing.

Mind tricks

The upshot of this post is: quick seduction tricks, ‘hacks’, or tricks are praxeologically unsustainable. They aren’t worthwhile. Let’s build real value, virtue, and character instead.

A man makes a discovery in his dating life. He observes that performing a certain novel action seems unexpectedly attractive to women. He tells his friends, and they copy his unintuitive technique, and find it effective. The information spreads out across the wider peer group, slowly…

Or quickly. Especially if one of the guys is a professional in the dating or seduction advice field. Or someone with enough followers on Twitter.

This new knowledge changes behaviour. It can’t remain an effective technique forever. Because the context has changed. The initial context was one in which this weird new trick was new. It was a novel humourous chat-up line, or reasonable-sounding excuse for two strangers to touch, or an action that expresses a mysterious demeanour.

Now, every other dude knows it. The girls have seen it a dozen times, in many tiresome re-enactments. If it was a joke, it’s not funny any more. If it was a playful suggestive invitation, repetition has killed whatever nuance it had. Now it’s understood as a vulgar proposition.

So to be effective with pick-up mind tricks, you’ll need to be ahead of the curve. You need to be informed of new techniques quickly. Better subscribe to the masters on YouTube or wherever, and listen to all the podcasts.

But the lightspeed dissemination of techniques over the ‘net is precisely what’s accelerating the shortening of their useful lifespan.

It’s more than just individual techniques that are harmed. As PUA-like practitioners increase in number, whole classes of techniques are diminished. It’s not just that some particular jokes get old. Women getting hit on learn that joke-telling is a much weaker indicator that a guy is genuinely funny. They learn that a situational display that seems to convey social courage doesn’t really give hard evidence that the man has genuine confidence.

The genuinely funny guy has to work a bit harder to impress the lady. But that’s fine, he’s up to the challenge. Same with the man of genuine confidence.

So we’d better forget the tricks. Don’t be taken in by the shortcut merchants. Accept the uncomfortable fact that real hard work is needed. Genuine value-building oriented advice is out there.

Roosh, often mistaken for a PUA, said There Is No Shortcut To Getting Laid.

But is there even a little but of value in tricks? Maybe. As a stepping stone into a conversation? As a knowingly corny joke? Seems this is the point where theory stops and practice begins.

A man’s needs

Let us dig a hole, and bury a crappy concept.

Men need sex? O RLY? No, man, being horny won’t kill you.

But we can speak meaningfully of needs that aren’t life-essential, like food or drink. We can argue that sex is a necessary part of a properly fulfilling life. Not needed to merely survive, but needed to thrive.

I still object.

My issue is particularly in the term ‘need’. The everyday usage of it doesn’t specify what the need is for, but there’s always a for.

The term is ethically loaded. It expresses some desire but also comes with an insinuation of obligation.

Take a relationship therapist who raises the topic of the boyfriend’s sexual needs. There’s an implication that the girlfriend is failing in her obligations regarding relief of his sexual frustrations. This is an awful way to think about sex.

To misquote revelation: there is no obligation in sex.

If good sex is conceived of as free action, entered into out of love and genuine mutual desire, then it can’t be thought of as a need. It’s a desire.

But what if the world was convinced of the proposition ‘men need sex’, and genuinely believed in the moral dimension that I’ve claimed it contains? Wouldn’t this be of great benefit to men? Easy pussy for everyone! Shouldn’t I be all for that, as a self-proclaimed masculinist?

At this point, the profound absurdity and profanity of the whole notion should be clear.

But if it isn’t…

Masculinism isn’t about making everything easy for men.

I think there’s an argument to be made from the reality that valuable achievements are genuinely difficult, requiring effort and discipline, towards a metaphysical justification for the basis of masculinity as such… but I don’t have enough information to articulate such a thesis. So I’ll just throw this part-formed jumble of concepts out there.

Begging for sex is, clearly, unmasculine. Who aspires to receive a pity fuck?


This is a great song