Category: myself

The challenge of the sex drive

Hunger, thirst, coldness, and tiredness: sensations that drive a lifeform to act, to secure something it needs for survival–food, water, heat, rest. We share them with lower animals. We experience them as sensations, and while we are not free of the requirements they point to, we have some ability to resist their force on us.

How about the sex drive? It can be placed in that category too. It’s another basic, lizard-brain life-sustaining process. Some call it a ‘need’. But it’s a strange one. Its goal, getting a lifeform to mate with another of its species, isn’t necessary for individual survival. But it is for group survival.

Continue reading “The challenge of the sex drive”

I wonder if Francois will talk to me again

He replied to my post on natalism indicating he might… or he might not. I can’t really blame him if he doesn’t think that to respond would be worthwhile. My answers may seem to reveal that my core position is far removed from his own, and has a religious aspect to it. And arguing with religious nutjobs is known to be often quite futile. And if it’s a tiny, non-influential cult, that’s even less worthy of engagement.

Continue reading “I wonder if Francois will talk to me again”

Unscientific energy

“the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity.”

Physicists use ‘energy’ to refer to a specific, measurable quantity used to causally explain physical phenomena. It’s measured in joules or calories. But they do not have a monopoly on its usage.

The definition cited above refers to biological and psychological phenomena. These will require more complex and subtle explanations than simple material changes.

It’s no surprise that pre-scientific traditions of thought and their latter-day continuations use ‘energy’ in strange ways. They shouldn’t be trashed for not conforming to modern physics-derived definitions.

To a scientific-cultured person like myself, it does sound weird to hear people talking about sexual energy, masculine energy, feminine energy, and so on. But that’s not a good reason to disregard them altogether. Why shouldn’t I give them a chance to proffer their explanations, their advice, and make their case for their stance, without giving up my scepticism?

There’s bullshit everywhere. It’s mixed together with good stuff. It’s on us to develop and use discernment to get the value out of this massive information buffet

That’s the context for understanding my last post.

Why the anonymity?

I have several blogs, for the different subjects I like to write about. Most of them, I put my name on. But this one’s anonymous.

Here, I talk about sex. I engage in politically incorrect armchair theorising. I strive to think independently, and the philosophical basis of my analysis includes some rather unpopular notions. Like, the idea that masculinity is good.

So, part of the reason for anonymity is to limit conflict with ideological opponents–to limit it to online engagement, with no real-life spillover. For the time being.

Also, my writing here includes some relevant autobiographical details. I’m perhaps too revealing of negative facts about myself. But they’re relevant to what I’m trying to do here. If I’m talking so much about sex, it’s a pertinent fact that I’ve never had it. And that I had my 4th date ever this week, a 4th first date. It went okay.

I intend to write more about porn. I’ve tweeted about it a little bit. My position is that porn’s probably, mostly a bad thing for men, and society. I say this having used porn for years. And while holding this position, I’ve stopped using porn. And started again. Repeat several times. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

There’s a bit of embarassment about publicly revealing this info. Why is that? Well, it shows weakness. Poor character. I want to associate with people of good character, so I don’t want to scare them away. Potential friends, girlfriends, colleagues, business associates, etc.

(There’s a therapeutic aspect to some of my writing. I’m serious about character development.)

I don’t want to be misunderstood. I realise that’s inevitable, to some degree. But I first just want to write down enough of my thoughts to responsibly guard against the worst and most obvious possible misinterpretations of my positions.

For those who’d consider me an enemy, I’ve given them a ton of ammo to use against me. But that can’t be helped. I just have to have faith that truth is a sufficiently powerful defence.

So, why not stay anonymous forever? This goes back to my other blogs, as mentioned above. The ideas I explore there, and here, are related. Everything in the universe is. Understanding things in the deepest possible way means grasping the interconnections. I need to communicate them too. So, sooner or later I’ll link my blogs together.

I went on a date

I wrote this post in December 3, 2016. I set it to private. I’m setting it to public now: 8th June, 2017.

And it wasn’t completely terrible.

Okay, 3rd date. OKCupid is alright.

The feeling of smallness in the presence of a superior being. Fluctuating between that and an attitude of expansive egoism, downlooking (she believes in democracy–)

She could talk. This is a skill I can admire. So, the silences, I felt as by fault, due to my deficiencies:

  • I think slowly.
  • I haven’t had comparably interesting experiences. I have lived boringly…

I can fix the second. As for the first, I can at least mitigate it…

She said let’s do it again! Now, is this a genuine feeling, or a reflexive way of saying goodbye?

If her interest in my projects was genuine, I want to share more information about them, as they develop, with her. So yeah, I want to see her again. I want to be in her presence.

I noticed her tits once. But then I was swept up again in conversation. Even if it was largely one-sided.

She suggested another drink. Is that a good sign? She wanted to stay longer. But maybe she just wanted to be free from indebtedness to me.

One reply on WhatsApp after the date. I sent the last.

I will wait the 5-9 days. Back on to Doc Love’s advice? Yeah.

I broke System rules by discussing politics. She brought it up first. No excuse, mind.

I can’t recall making her laugh.

So… make a pre-canned set of stories, jokes, possible topics? This seems reasonable. Ish. Why not? Is it dishonest? There is kind of an assumption that spoken speech is… thought up on the spot. Original, originating in thought which has only just occurred, in the presence of the listener. But people re-tell stories all the time. Oral tradition: people re-tell the stories of others. This is natural and normal…

As long as it’s true.

What about her? She’s younger than me and seems to be more of a grown-up. More social, no surprise… more career-actualized. Neutral judgement here.